My Domestic Helper Doesn’t Take Initiative, What Should I Do?

Even though you find your domestic helper hard working and dedicated, you might want her to take more initiative. That’s why you want her to enterprise more so that she does not get stuck to her daily schedule forever. Supervising, motivating and guiding a domestic helper is a challenging task. If you are frustrated by her lack of autonomy, take action earlier rather than later. The longer you wait, the more complicated it will become to change established behaviour and routine.

A quick glance at employer ads, immediately illuminates that most employers are looking for a domestic helper who takes initiative and who can work autonomously. Even if they have worked for other families who rave about her ability to take initiative, it doesn’t mean that your expectations of her autonomy are the same.

It would be best to have discussed her ability to enterprise during the interview, as well as with her previous employers.

Firstly, in order to successfully manage your domestic helper, you need to assess her current autonomy. Does she take initiative when cooking, but not when it comes to cleaning? Or does she do things in her own way when you are not present? Each situation will require a different action plan, but we have created a list that will help you manage how she takes initiative.

• Give her time to get used to your style of managing and your household dynamics. She should use the first weeks, perhaps even months, to get to know you and your family’s preferences and expectations. She will need to find the right balance between taking her own initiative based on her training and your expectations. For example, if she is great at preparing delightful vegetarian dishes, but your family prefers juicy steaks, it will take her time to find out your taste and she will need to be given access to recipes or cookbooks in case she has no experience with your cuisine.
• Whatever you do, give her space. Micromanaging may be necessary for the beginning, but if you overdo it, your domestic helper could feel uncomfortable and unhappy with her work.
• Talk to your domestic helper to ensure your instructions are clear. Even if you want her to work autonomously, she will still have to follow certain instructions. You will need to tell her clearly and explicitly your family preferences, rather than expect her to figure that out. What may seem normal to you, is probably not to her. You might even have to tell her your household’s hygiene habits, if you want her to keep on what you were used to doing before. Be clear when you want her to follow your instructions and when she can decide on her own.
• Give her a schedule of weekly and daily tasks with priorities clearly listed. You may prefer your towels to be washed every three days and your bedding weekly, but she will not know this unless you tell her. Prioritize the duties for her in case she cannot finish them all due to unforeseen circumstances.
• Help her to also create her own schedules so that she can make adjustments the longer she works for you. She may find a different schedule more efficient, especially as duties will change as your kids grow and she will be able to handle them autonomously.
• Accept that she won’t be perfect at everything. Let’s face it, nobody is. If things work well for a while and suddenly deteriorate, do talk to her so that your expectations are reiterated.

Why Initiative Looks Different in Every Household

A quick look at employer job ads shows that autonomy is one of the most desired qualities in a domestic helper. Still, “taking initiative” means different things to different families.

Your helper may have been praised by previous employers for being proactive, yet still struggle in your home. This doesn’t mean she lacks ability — it often means expectations were never clearly aligned.

Ideally, initiative and working style should be discussed during interviews and checked with previous employers. But even then, real understanding only comes once daily routines begin.

Struggling with a domestic helper who lacks initiative? Learn practical steps to build autonomy through clear expectations, routines, and supportive guidance.

A Better Way Forward

Helping a domestic helper take initiative isn’t about pressure or control. It’s about clarity, trust, and consistent guidance. When expectations are clear and communication is open, many helpers grow into confident, independent contributors at home.

This approach reflects what HelperChoice stands for — ethical employment, transparency, and relationships where both employers and helpers can succeed together.

you’re looking for a helper who can work more independently, explore HelperChoice to connect with domestic helpers whose experience and working style match your household needs.