{"id":3993,"date":"2019-01-29T15:05:40","date_gmt":"2019-01-29T07:05:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ec2-54-254-239-209.ap-southeast-1.compute.amazonaws.com\/?p=3993"},"modified":"2026-01-15T02:11:49","modified_gmt":"2026-01-14T18:11:49","slug":"help-child-prefers-helper","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.helperchoice.com\/c\/help-child-prefers-helper\/","title":{"rendered":"Help! My Child Prefers My Domestic Helper"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Your baby is growing attached to your domestic helper and you are feeling \u2018threatened\u2019 or even \u2018in competition\u2019 with her? If you are having a tough time dealing with the situation, the following advice will \u2013 hopefully \u2013 help you get through it.<\/p><div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_81 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.helperchoice.com\/c\/help-child-prefers-helper\/#Am_I_the_only_one_concerned_about_this\" >Am I the only one concerned about this?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.helperchoice.com\/c\/help-child-prefers-helper\/#1_Mom_1_domestic_helper_2_distinct_roles\" >1 Mom, 1 domestic helper, 2 distinct roles<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.helperchoice.com\/c\/help-child-prefers-helper\/#Babies_do_need_love\" >Babies do need love<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.helperchoice.com\/c\/help-child-prefers-helper\/#I_feel_helpless_what_can_I_do\" >I feel helpless, what can I do?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/www.helperchoice.com\/c\/help-child-prefers-helper\/#Discuss_it_with_your_domestic_helper\" >Discuss it with your domestic helper<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/www.helperchoice.com\/c\/help-child-prefers-helper\/#You_Are_Still_Your_Childs_Safe_Place\" >You Are Still Your Child\u2019s Safe Place<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"800\" height=\"550\" src=\"https:\/\/www.helperchoice.com\/c\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Help-My-Child-Prefers-My-Domestic-Helper.png\" alt=\"Help! my child prefers my domestic helper\" class=\"wp-image-14604\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Am_I_the_only_one_concerned_about_this\"><\/span>Am I the only one concerned about this?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Worry not, it\u2019s a natural feeling. Obviously, everyone has their way of reacting in such situations and feels different about it, but being bothered, upset or even jealous in this case is completely normal and comprehensible especially for first-time mothers. Sometimes, you might even feel hurt \u2013 particularly in those moments where your baby behaves as if your domestic helper is their mom. Some mothers might even feel frustrated as they have the feeling that they are missing out on important moments in their children\u2019s lives and end up feeling guilty for leaving them behind when they must return to work. Discard the idea that you are \u2018abandoning\u2019 your children, that is not true! The mother-child bond is special and absolutely irreplaceable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1_Mom_1_domestic_helper_2_distinct_roles\"><\/span>1 Mom, 1 domestic helper, 2 distinct roles<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Keep in mind that your domestic helper\u2019s role is not to replace you. And, rest assured that she will never replace you! It is normal though that your domestic helper and your baby develop a bond (and that\u2019s a good thing!). This won\u2019t make yours any less special! Your domestic helper is there to do her job and it is understandable that she would end up caring about your baby but she has no hidden motives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image aligncenter size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"683\" src=\"https:\/\/www.helperchoice.com\/c\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/baby-1-1024x683.jpeg\" alt=\"a lady feeding a baby a bottle of milk\" class=\"wp-image-6610\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.helperchoice.com\/c\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/baby-1-1024x683.jpeg 1024w, https:\/\/www.helperchoice.com\/c\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/baby-1-300x200.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/www.helperchoice.com\/c\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/baby-1-768x512.jpeg 768w, https:\/\/www.helperchoice.com\/c\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/baby-1-345x230.jpeg 345w, https:\/\/www.helperchoice.com\/c\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/baby-1-770x513.jpeg 770w, https:\/\/www.helperchoice.com\/c\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/baby-1-370x247.jpeg 370w, https:\/\/www.helperchoice.com\/c\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/baby-1-440x294.jpeg 440w, https:\/\/www.helperchoice.com\/c\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/baby-1-570x380.jpeg 570w, https:\/\/www.helperchoice.com\/c\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/baby-1-170x113.jpeg 170w, https:\/\/www.helperchoice.com\/c\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/02\/baby-1.jpeg 1500w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Babies_do_need_love\"><\/span>Babies do need love<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Love and affection are important for babies as they play a vital role in their development. Feeling loved enables children to become more confident. It also makes them feel safe, comforts them and helps them develop their self-esteem. And as such, it should not be denied to them \u2013 no matter where it comes from.<br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"I_feel_helpless_what_can_I_do\"><\/span>I feel helpless, what can I do?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>If you are uncomfortable with the situation or if that\u2019s really bothering you, there are a few things that you can do about it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(1) Spend as much time as possible with your baby before returning to work but also once your maternity leave is over.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2013 While on maternity leave, make sure you interact with your new-born baby as often as possible. Breastfeeding will enable you to share privileged moments with your baby. If you are bottle feeding try to be the one feeding them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2013 Whenever you are home, try <a href=\"https:\/\/www.helperchoice.com\/c\/communicating-effectively-children\">spending quality time with them<\/a> \u2013 playtime is crucial to deepening the bond you share. Bath time and bedtime are also key moments so make sure that you are the one bathing or tucking them in whenever possible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(2) If you feel like this is necessary, it might be a good idea to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.helperchoice.com\/c\/house-rules-for-domestic-helpers\">detail your domestic helper\u2019s responsibilities<\/a> especially those related to your baby \u2013 and define the do\u2019s and don\u2019ts. You might even need (and that\u2019s okay!) to establish that you should be the only one to care for them when you are home \u2013 especially in the earliest stages of their development \u2013 while your domestic helper could oversee non-baby-related responsibilities such as cooking or grocery shopping.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Discuss_it_with_your_domestic_helper\"><\/span>Discuss it with your domestic helper<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Make it clear that you need to spend those moments alone with them. If you are not comfortable with things as they are, do set rules and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.helperchoice.com\/c\/domestic-helper-privacy\">boundaries<\/a>. Do not hesitate to share with your domestic helper about how this whole situation makes you feel. And if she is a mom too, she will surely understand and give you and your children some space.<br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"You_Are_Still_Your_Childs_Safe_Place\"><\/span>You Are Still Your Child\u2019s Safe Place<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Children can love more than one caregiver deeply. This doesn\u2019t mean they love their parents less. Your voice, your presence, your comfort \u2014 these remain irreplaceable. What your child is experiencing is not a loss of attachment, but an expansion of trust<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Parenting with the support of a domestic helper comes with emotional challenges as well as practical benefits. When roles are clear and communication stays open, children thrive \u2014 and parents regain confidence in their place.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Your baby is growing attached to your domestic helper and you are feeling \u2018threatened\u2019 or even \u2018in competition\u2019 with her? If you are having a tough time dealing with the situation, the following advice will \u2013 hopefully \u2013 help you get through it. Am I the only one concerned about this? Worry not, it\u2019s a [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":3994,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"slim_seo":{"description":"When a child grows attached to a domestic helper, parents may feel uneasy. This article explores why this happens and offers practical ways to handle it.","title":"Help! My Child Prefers My Domestic Helper - HelperChoice Blog"},"footnotes":""},"categories":[31],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3993","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parenting"],"blocksy_meta":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.helperchoice.com\/c\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/super-951190_1920.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.helperchoice.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3993","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.helperchoice.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.helperchoice.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.helperchoice.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/14"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.helperchoice.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3993"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.helperchoice.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3993\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14606,"href":"https:\/\/www.helperchoice.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3993\/revisions\/14606"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.helperchoice.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3994"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.helperchoice.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3993"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.helperchoice.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3993"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.helperchoice.com\/c\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3993"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}